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We’ve Moved!

Dear Readers, We’ve moved to a new location in the internet. We’ll continue to provide the best news in and around Los Angeles, so we hope you follow us as … Continue reading

May 24, 2013 · Leave a comment

Los Angeles To Add Nine New Sports Stadiums Downtown

LOS ANGELES – Amid talks about building a new football stadium in downtown Los Angeles, city planners determined that the timing was ripe to cram nine new stadiums into the … Continue reading

May 24, 2013 · Leave a comment

Ricky’s Fish Tacos Doesn’t Have As Many Hipsters As You Would Think

DOWNTOWN LA — Ricky’s Fish Tacos, the food stand that was recently kicked out of Los Feliz earlier this year for health violations, has popped up along Main St. in … Continue reading

May 23, 2013 · Leave a comment

City To Install Parking Meters In Your Driveway

YOUR HOUSE – Meter maids and parking services workers will soon find themselves working double-time when paid parking is installed at all private residences in Los Angeles County. “We were really … Continue reading

May 23, 2013 · Leave a comment

Garcetti Vows To Use Kickstarter To Fix LA Budget Issues

LOS ANGELES, CA — On Tuesday, Eric Garcetti won the Los Angeles mayoral runoff election and his first order of business was to establish a Kickstarter campaign for the city’s … Continue reading

May 22, 2013 · Leave a comment

ASK AN ANGELENO: Why Didn’t You Vote?

Eric Garcetti won the mayoral runoff election on Tuesday, May 21, 2013, but only around 20% of Angelenos voted. We asked why. “I went to my crossfit class after work … Continue reading

May 22, 2013 · Leave a comment

Paramount Pictures Greenlights Film About The “I Voted” Stickers

HOLLYWOOD, CA — In a strong play for box office superiority, Paramount Pictures announced plans to greenlight a film about the ubiquitous “I Voted” stickers that voters proudly wear on … Continue reading

May 21, 2013 · Leave a comment

LA Potheads Too Stoned To Vote For Pro-Marijuana Legislation

LOS ANGELES, CA — Early exit polls from today’s election are showing that those who are pro-marijuana are too stoned to get out and vote. With three measures on today’s … Continue reading

May 21, 2013 · Leave a comment

LA Mayoral Election: Polling Places Moved To Starbucks So That Someone Might Vote

LOS ANGELES, CA – Amid the bustle of election day, LA City’s electoral council made the executive decision to move all polling places to Starbucks because, well, otherwise nobody will vote. The … Continue reading

May 21, 2013 · Leave a comment

Political Mailers from LA Election Make Great Scratch Paper

LOS ANGELES, CA — During this money-heavy political race between Wendy Greuel and Eric Garcetti, one thing is for sure: those political mailers certainly make great scratch paper. Tim Evans, … Continue reading

May 20, 2013 · Leave a comment

Man Gets Off Train At Union Station; Immediately Gets Back On

UNION STATION – After a 36-hour train ride from somewhere else in America to Los Angeles, a Dutch traveler arrived at Union Station late Tuesday only to immediately get back on the … Continue reading

May 17, 2013 · Leave a comment

Protesters of LAUSD’s Willful Defiance Policy Arrested for Willful Defiance

LOS ANGELES, CA — Protesters of the school policy “willful defiance” were arrested yesterday for willful defiance. The LAUSD policy, which instated a zero tolerance policy for students who failed … Continue reading

May 16, 2013 · Leave a comment

ASK AN ANGELENO: Which Mayoral Candidate Are You Voting For?

With the May 21st runoff election looming, The Ritzy Dispatch took to the streets to find out which mayoral candidate Angelenos are voting for. “Wendy Greuel, so I can continue to use … Continue reading

May 16, 2013 · Leave a comment

BREAKING NEWS: Atwater Village Still Too Far Away

ATWATER VILLAGE — Atwater Village, which resides east of the 5 freeway in Los Angeles, is still too far away. Last night, Los Angeles residents James and Caitlin Murray drove … Continue reading

May 12, 2013 · Leave a comment
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