Brewing Sun Tea Is Just Plain Stupid, Study Finds

LOS ANGELES, CA — Experts discovered last week that making sun tea is just too time consuming. According to a new study out by the Ice and Sun Tea Council of Southern California (ISTCSC), brewing tea the old-fashioned way with warmth of the sun is just too darn boring. “It’s pointless,” the council president explains. “Who on earth has time to brew tea by setting it outside for hours to soak up rays? Plus your tea will need sunscreen and that’s just too costly.” When taking weather into consideration even further complications arise. “Besides,” he adds “if you live in Santa Monica then for half the day you are going to get marine layer tea and everybody knows that’s just undrinkable.” The blogosphere was up in arms Thursday in reaction to the council, “These are just corporate hacks who are trying to destroy our liberty. This is the United States of America!” When asked if this blogger (who preferred to remain nameless) had any comments about actual tea he replied, “Can I borrow a dollar?” Back at the ISTCSC, soon to become the Southern California and Northern Mexico Alliance (ISTCSCNMA), researchers held firm that their study had a point. “Sweet tea, sugar tea, green tea, grey tea, yellow tea whatever it is, just put it in the darn microwave and be done with it.” Official instructions on the ISTCSCNMA website recommend making ice tea by indeed warming up a mug of tea in the microwave and then pouring “a gallon of ice cubes on top and then just drinking it already.” The White House Press Secretary, an avid sparkling water drinker, added his two cents to the debate as well commenting that, “How history remembers the legacy of sun tea……will be for future generations to decide.”


Seriously, you would drink this? (Photo credit: Flickr & Unsure Shot.)

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This entry was posted on May 2, 2013 by in News and tagged , , , .
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