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REDONDO BEACH, CA — Despite being pressured by her mother to, “go out and actually live your life,” a Redondo Beach woman named Dorris has made the bold decision to, “Just screw it all, I want to watch Jeopardy” and remain in her home all evening. The plan calls for pajamas, ramen from Sawtelle, a box of cookies and an alcoholic beverage known as a ‘chelada.’ “Look, I just want to do nothing after work, I don’t see why that is so bad,” she argues. “I had an extremely long day of sitting at a computer, mostly not doing any work for my company. That, plus a 2 hour lunch-break and internet surfing and I am just pooped.”
Plans for the weekend included also not leaving the house or changing her clothing other than her socks. “That’s just gross, ”she comments. Doris relies on LA Starves, a local food delivery site to keep her alive during her bouts of hibernation. While dirty dishes pile up and the cat has not been seen for weeks, Dorris is distracted by actively seeking an online medical billing position that will allow her to work full-time from home. The plan is to make the transition to being a permanent stay-at-home-individual by the end of the year. Dorris recently joined a ‘stay-at-home-individual’ support group to guide her. The group planned to hold its meetings in Silverlake but then nobody ever showed up. When asked if she had any outside-the-home plans for the upcoming memorial day holiday Dorris replied, “Get out of my house!”