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LOS ANGELES, CA –As of fall 2013, all local university students will be required to take (and pass) a sushi course in order to graduate. The curriculum was developed in response to the plethora of college students who were not raised in LA, but were still attempting to eat in our sushi bars. “These kids come to California from all over the country to attend college, and then they embarrass us all with their atrocious sushi etiquette” said one LA local. “This is southern California, this is the home of sushi…well other than Japan but anyway, you can’t live here and then expect to enter our sushi bars and make a fool of yourself. ENOUGH!” Reports of improper sushi etiquette by college students included consuming miso soup with a straw, using a fork to stab sashimi and eating the entire edamame bean. “I saw one of them dump their green-tea ice cream in root beer and eat it with a fork” said one restaurant goer. “That kind of behavior might be tolerated in Kansas but here the only thing you drop in your beer is sake…obviously.” Sushi bar owners had their own two cents to add to the conversation. “I severely regret inventing the sake-bomb,” says the inventor of the sake-bomb. “It just encouraged college students to drop things in their alcohol before chugging it,” he explains. “It was all okay until one of them dropped their uni roll in an appletini and slammed it on the bar.” Other regrettable sushi-inventions was the genius idea of opening an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant in a college town. “The frat boys just come in and eat the fish off the top of the and then shove the rice down their pants. You can’t make this stuff up,” said one owner. That will all be changed now that Southern California universities will be mandated to offer sushi etiquette courses as a requirement to graduate. They had to cut something else in the curriculum due to California budget cuts, so students will no longer get health education on sexually transmitted diseases. “It was a worthwhile tradeoff,” says one LA local who couldn’t handle the Midwestern transplants dipping tamago into ketchup anymore. “Something had to be done.”