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LOS ANGELES, CA — Earlier today, all animals have been declared extinct by the World Wide Fund for Nature (WWF) thanks to restauranteurs Jon Shook and Vinny Dotolo. The owners of the extremely popular restaurants Animal, Son of a Gun, and Trois Mec (with Ludo Lefebrve) have thoroughly eliminated all the animals from our planet thanks to their ambitious menus, which recently expanded to include previously obscure animals like manatee, hippo, and even the salamander. “We’re not just chefs, we’re experimenters. We wanted to know what salamander tasted like with a side of fava beans, cooked sous-vide for 24 hours. And let me tell you: it’s gross,” Shook said. Dotolo continued, adding, “We wanted to push the boundaries of what animals could be. I guess we pushed it a bit too far.” Stay tuned for their next establishment, opening in 2014, called Rainforest, which plans to raze all the rainforests in the world and cook them BBQ-style.