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UNION STATION – After a 36-hour train ride from somewhere else in America to Los Angeles, a Dutch traveler arrived at Union Station late Tuesday only to immediately get back on the train. After years of dreaming about the California sunshine and an opportunity to see celebrities, he was so horrified by the sites of Union Station that he refused to brave Los Angeles. “Please give me a ticket to anywhere else,” he begged the depot manager, throwing his wallet at him in a panicked state. “I give you dollars,” he kept repeating. Despite wanting to see Disneyland and his life’s dream to surf in the Pacific Ocean, Olaf was convinced based on 15 seconds in the station that he would just have to re-write his bucket list. “It was horrible,” he said. “I spent all those years learning English and then nobody spoke English. Plus there was a man living in a shopping cart and I heard several gunshots followed by sirens and then a helicopter kept shining it’s light on me and following me around. Where is the ocean?” he concluded desperately. Interestingly enough, Olaf’s experience is evident of a larger epidemic. “We’ve seen a 200% increase in immediate return-trip purchases since 2001,” said the Union Station manager. “We can’t figure out why but it seems that for some unknown reason people who arrive here just decide to vacation elsewhere last minute. Oh well, nothing we can do about it,” he concluded. For now, Olaf is happy with his decision to get back on the train and instead travel to Tijuana. “This is so much better!” he exclaimed happily upon arrival.