NOW AT WWW.THERITZYDISPATCH.COM

FOR THE BEST IN SOUTHLAND NEWS.

Author Archives: richardonthego

Ricky’s Fish Tacos Doesn’t Have As Many Hipsters As You Would Think

DOWNTOWN LA — Ricky’s Fish Tacos, the food stand that was recently kicked out of Los Feliz earlier this year for health violations, has popped up along Main St. in … Continue reading

May 23, 2013 · Leave a comment

Garcetti Vows To Use Kickstarter To Fix LA Budget Issues

LOS ANGELES, CA — On Tuesday, Eric Garcetti won the Los Angeles mayoral runoff election and his first order of business was to establish a Kickstarter campaign for the city’s … Continue reading

May 22, 2013 · Leave a comment

Paramount Pictures Greenlights Film About The “I Voted” Stickers

HOLLYWOOD, CA — In a strong play for box office superiority, Paramount Pictures announced plans to greenlight a film about the ubiquitous “I Voted” stickers that voters proudly wear on … Continue reading

May 21, 2013 · Leave a comment

LA Potheads Too Stoned To Vote For Pro-Marijuana Legislation

LOS ANGELES, CA — Early exit polls from today’s election are showing that those who are pro-marijuana are too stoned to get out and vote. With three measures on today’s … Continue reading

May 21, 2013 · Leave a comment

Political Mailers from LA Election Make Great Scratch Paper

LOS ANGELES, CA — During this money-heavy political race between Wendy Greuel and Eric Garcetti, one thing is for sure: those political mailers certainly make great scratch paper. Tim Evans, … Continue reading

May 20, 2013 · Leave a comment

BREAKING NEWS: Atwater Village Still Too Far Away

ATWATER VILLAGE — Atwater Village, which resides east of the 5 freeway in Los Angeles, is still too far away. Last night, Los Angeles residents James and Caitlin Murray drove … Continue reading

May 12, 2013 · Leave a comment

Native Angeleno Walked Eight Blocks

MID CITY, LOS ANGELES — Earlier today Traci Benton, a native Angeleno, walked eight blocks from her apartment to the Beverly Center because she needed to return something to Bloomingdales. … Continue reading

May 12, 2013 · Leave a comment

USC Hires Two UCLA Neuroscientists To Revamp Dept, Figure Out What The Hell Is Going Through Lane Kiffin’s Mind

LOS ANGELES, CA — In a major academic coup, USC has hired two prominent UCLA neuroscientists to expand their department, as well as figure out what the hell is going … Continue reading

May 11, 2013 · Leave a comment

Woman Won’t Date Anyone With An 818, 626 Area Code

LOS ANGELES, CA — A Los Angeles woman who spoke on condition of anonymity told reporters that she refuses to date anyone with an 818 or 626 area code. “I … Continue reading

May 11, 2013 · Leave a comment

Ducks, Geese Actually Don’t Mind If Angelenos Torture Them And Eat Their Livers

LOS ANGELES, CA — Nearly a year into the state-wide California ban on foie gras and the animals the law was designed to protect, ducks and geese, are coming out … Continue reading

May 11, 2013 · Leave a comment

Echo Park Lake to Re-Open, Homeless People of Echo Park Ecstatic

ECHO PARK — Since being closed since 2011 for renovations, Echo Park Lake is finally being reopened and the homeless people of Echo Park are ecstatic. During a press conference … Continue reading

May 10, 2013 · Leave a comment

LAUSD Principal Actually Thinks She Can Make A Difference

LOS ANGELES, CA — Newly hired LAUSD principal Janice Williams thinks she can actually make a difference. A veteran of the education system, Williams has taught for ten years in … Continue reading

May 10, 2013 · Leave a comment

Magic Johnson Trying To Return The Dodgers To Frank McCourt

LOS ANGELES, CA — Unbeknownst to most, Magic Johnson has been pleading with former owner Frank McCourt in an effort to return the Dodgers, which he bought in May 2012. … Continue reading

May 10, 2013 · Leave a comment

ADVICE: How To Prepare For The Next Earthquake

With yesterday’s 3.0 earthquake a few miles off the coast of Marina Del Rey, here are some tips on how to prepare for the next earthquake: • Stock up on … Continue reading

May 10, 2013 · Leave a comment